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He said he earned some respect after telling his male classmates the same story he has shared with me. It seems that there is more pressure on American teens and young adults to have sex and that the pressure comes sooner.
Another difference is the sex-outside-of-relationships that seems to be more common in America than in Korea. “Hooking up” was certainly a part of university culture when I attended school in the late nineties and I’ve read several articles recently which indicate that “hooking up” is becoming more common. While I’ve hear the term “hooking up” used to refer to non-sexual acts of physical intimacy such as making out, my understanding is that university students use this primarily to talk about sex, often one-night stands.
My Korean students said that while it might be possible to pick someone up for a one-night stand in certain nightclubs, this sort of thing was very rare in Korea.
A conversation with one male student revealed that Korean couples don’t generally fool around in movie theaters although going to the movies is a common date. What surprised me more is how this student reacted (while in America) when he found out that the woman he had a crush on was bisexual. First he was shocked that she told him, a virtual stranger. Then he lost all interest in her. He said that Korean men don’t have that fantasy shared by so many American men, being with 2 women at the same time.
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Courting is far more indirect in Philippine culture than in most Western societies. Philippine relationships pass in several stages, usually lasting for a long period of time. An engagement, for example, often lasts for several years and as far as marriage is concerned, it is viewed as a lifetime commitment.
Often the starting point of a relationship is a friendly date. The couple will go out together in public places as friends only and will be accompanied by other friends. During this stage of courting there will be no public displays of affection, the man has to be discreet and friendly or he will be accused of being too arrogant. It is too early for kissing or holding hands at this point.
That is the second stage of Filipina courtship and now couples may go out together without the company of their friends. Again, the keyword here is “discreetly”.
Filipinas cannot afford to be fast, they are expected to be pakipot (hard to get) because it is seen as an appropriate behavior when they are courted. A Philippine girl never shows her admirer that she is also in love with him immediately.
Playing hard to get is one way by which the Filipina can measure the sincerity of the man interested in her. It also lets her show the man that he has to work hard to win her love. Some courtships may last for years before the woman accepts her admirer’s love and they become magkasintahan, a term for boyfriend-girlfriend.
After some time the couple may decide to come out in the open about their romance. At this time they will inform their family and friends about their relationship. Every man who wants to be taken seriously by a Filipina is obliged to visit her family and introduce himself formally to her parents. It is rather inappropriate to court a Philippine girl and formalize the relationship without informing the girl’s parents.
There is a tacit rule here that says: “When courting the filipina you are not courting just her, you are courting the entire family”. Following this rule will help you earn her respect by entrusting her family with high regard.
There are certain traditions that have to be observed when visiting the Asians family. For example, if the man wants to be acceptable to the girl’s family, he has to give small gifts (pasalubong) every time he drops by her family's house. If you have any questions regarding which traditions you should observe, you may discuss them with the older siblings. Engagement and Marriage
After being a couple with your Filipina for quite a time and decide to get married, the first thing you should do is pamanhikan (ask the girl’s parents for her hand).
When courting a Filipina you will find that she is shy and reserved even when holding great feelings for you. This is a part of her culture and even for a Western man there is no way around that. You should treat your Filipina with respect, lead the courtship with your heart and you may find a lifetime partner that will enrich your life as you have never imagined.
He said he earned some respect after telling his male classmates the same story he has shared with me. It seems that there is more pressure on American teens and young adults to have sex and that the pressure comes sooner.
Another difference is the sex-outside-of-relationships that seems to be more common in America than in Korea. “Hooking up” was certainly a part of university culture when I attended school in the late nineties and I’ve read several articles recently which indicate that “hooking up” is becoming more common. While I’ve hear the term “hooking up” used to refer to non-sexual acts of physical intimacy such as making out, my understanding is that university students use this primarily to talk about sex, often one-night stands.
My Korean students said that while it might be possible to pick someone up for a one-night stand in certain nightclubs, this sort of thing was very rare in Korea.
A conversation with one male student revealed that Korean couples don’t generally fool around in movie theaters although going to the movies is a common date. What surprised me more is how this student reacted (while in America) when he found out that the woman he had a crush on was bisexual. First he was shocked that she told him, a virtual stranger. Then he lost all interest in her. He said that Korean men don’t have that fantasy shared by so many American men, being with 2 women at the same time.